The other afternoon I phoned my wife from work and said to her "I'm bringing that new kid Dave home tonight for dinner".
So she replied, "But I've just got up, I look a mess, my hair is all over the place, my face is a bit spotty at the moment, I feel all bloaty and puffed up, and the house is a mess, there is unwashed dishes in the sink, I hav'nt hoovered for days, there is dog hair everywhere, one of the dogs has thrown up in the living room, I have'nt dusted the furniture either and there is a pile of ironing to do, and if you think I am going to cook a meal you have got another thing coming, I hav'nt been shopping, so the cupboards are bare, so you can just get a takeaway on the way home like you usually do.................anyway why are you bringing him home?"
"Well" I replied, "the silly bugger is thinking about getting married".
Today
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