A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further, and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put the little bastard on the phone, I'm lost and need directions."
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further, and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put the little bastard on the phone, I'm lost and need directions."
It is like the commercial where a guy takes the dog out to a field and tosses a stick. As the goes to fetch it, he leaves. The dog sees that he is gone. The dog says he is glad the guy is gone but to tell the idiot that the guy dropped his wallet. I do not remember what it advertised but I remember the commercial.
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After
two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing
'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned sixty-something.)
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't
resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued
ribs?'
I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that
all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing
golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a
lots of sex?'
'No,' I said...
He looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a sh!*?'
The AutoGuide.com network consists of the largest network of enthusiast-owned enthusiast-operated automotive communities.
AutoGuide.com provides the latest car reviews, auto show coverage, new car prices, and automotive news. The AutoGuide network operates more than 100 automotive forums where our users consult peers for shopping information and advice, and share opinions as a community.
I do not remember what it advertised but I remember the commercial. 
The Beast
The Chick Magnet
Today
Linear Mode
