Today, the dealer is going to replace my SAM (signal acquisition & actuation module). I had pointed out that there were several problems with the electrics*, and he said that they all stem from the SAM being messed up. In order to fix this, he needs to replace my SAM and reprogram both of my keys. I hope this takes care of the problems. More to follow.
*
Brights flicker like crazy, radio turns off and back on when car shifts from 4 to 5 or when I shift manually from D to N