Well, 24 hours and 2 baths later, it does appear that there's some permanent damage to my sweet baby.

Naturally, I'm pretty devastated, since she's only 4 months old and only has 2300 miles on her.
There are a few tiny chips in the plastic on her front panel, I'm presuming from where somebody smashed an egg at short range (they apparently came up onto my property to get her that well egged), streaks on the back bumper where egg ran down it (luckily these seem to vanish when she's dry-- but they're definitely in the finish and not leftover egg) and some permanent discoloration to the top.
I'm ordering the stuff to treat the top, and I hope that will make the discoloration less obvious. And I suppose the front panel could be replaced, although for three chips that collectively are probably 1/8" square it's not worth it.
Right now, though, I'm just trying to remind myself that it could have been so much worse. And that since I live in Texas and have heated seats and a good heater, the only time really that I put the top up is when it's actually raining.
I think that I'm going to go now and have a good cry. It's been a long time since I've felt this horrible.